Reflection on "Hairball" Essay

I had good ideas in my paper, but as it turns out I needed more support for them. Perhaps I could blend in more quotes into my sentences in order to help support what I am trying to say. For example, when I mentioned that “her co-workers disregarded her aspects and failed to realize the importance of Kat’s view”, I should have supported that statement with some evidence. Moreover, some of my sentences had fragments in them, so I should have someone read over my essay next time more closely in order to have the maximum amount of editing possible. I noticed that some of my sentences were labeled as “awkward”. I do get that a lot, but I am not sure how I can fix that. To me my sentences seem alright, but I guess when another person reads them, he or she does not feel the same way I do. Also, I need to use double quotation marks instead of single ones. I thought we used single ones when we are mentioning the same word we previously used in a quote, but I guess not. I need to work on my transitions in between points and paragraphs, as they seem to be weak. Sometimes I feel like I am being repetitive if I keep using similar transition words. So that is a bit of a problem for me. I also see that commas should go inside quotes, not on the outside. I think I knew that, but it was just a mistake on my part. I see that I had a few passive voice comments on my essay. Well I do try to use active voice as much as possible, but again, sometimes it is hard to notice your own mistakes.  As I see, I should not mention “in conclusion” at any point in any essay for this class. I use it in environmental science because we are told to do so, so I guess I got a bit confused on which class is for what.  It seems that I am missing a lot of commas. Well, I do try to use them as much as I can, as I perceive that there is a need for them. However, I guess I need to work on pausing in my sentences or perhaps making them shorter. I also see that “taxi” does not need to be capitalized. I thought it should be, because it is a type of a car? Hmm. Well good to know. I did try to analyze a lot of my work, and I think I got that part down pretty much. But as I focused on one thing: analyzing, my other sections went down. Sometimes I have a hard time getting across what I am trying to say, so that makes my sentences seem awkward and grammatically wrong.